“The ‘SureKill Distressway’ Revisited”

(September 12, 2019)

Saw no wrecks that road

Surekill Expressway*

*(The Schuylkill Expressway – also I-76 – whose multi-lanes I braved for nearly a year during my sentence to public relations duty for Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children in downtown PhilthyDelphia, allegeded earned the monicker “SureKill Expressway,” though some wags said “Distressway” more apropos. Never had I a problem negotiation that stretch from West Philly to downtown; never arranged or participated or even saw a wreck or any other kind of traffic holdup. Perhaps it was the blurr from the evening’s occular exercises that gauzed over the outrages or maybe I just got lucky with my timing. My Vietnay photo panyo pal turned 4th Marine Corps Recruiting and Reserve District photo chief – to my public affairs nco-dom – John Gentry had never experienced the delights of multi-laned highway traffic in real life…West Virginia highlands life had limited his experinces to multi-toed footpaths to the outhouse which made him think he was at home in the land of the burning shitter. I did not even know SureKill had made it to The Web until I googled for “Schuylkill” (Dutch, I guess.), and the road did lead out to Lancaster County of sorts where Amish potato chips could be had by the paper grocerysack-ful, complete with spreading grease stains – for authenticity’s sake donchakinow.)

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