“Which Holiday On Which Side?”


(May 5, 2019)

It’s not Camerone:

Neither is May’s Cinco Nor

Davey’s Demise Day!*

*(Oddly – not at all – two very important cultural artifacts – Cinco De Mayo and lime wedges in the necks of Corona bottled beer actually are American inventions which over some period of time have become treasured Mexican symbols on both sides of the border. Mexican Independence Day is most definitely not May Fifth. Nor is the notion of adding a lime wedge to a bottle of beer a creep of Mexico coming North, but rather a bartender’s more-tips notion from California crawling Down South to adorn those cutsey television ads showing a beach, a bucket and two lounge chairs off to the side of a swaying palm at sunset if you are romantic or daybreak if you are even more romantical but perhaps less practical…that would require a 150-gallon cooler, no? Camerone Day, by the day, is celebrated by members of The French Foreign Legion who one fine day a patrol of perhaps a few platoons-worth of legionnaires held off thousands of Mexican troops bent on casting off French Emperor Napoleon’s kin, Maximilian who brought great bread to go with the Chocolate to his soon-to-be abandoned realm in North America. When Captain Jean D’Anjou’s final seven or so troops were left alive, their lieutenant leader had his remaining men fix bayonets and charge the surrounding Mexicans. The French all fired their one remaining round of ammuniton and except for the lieutenant raced toward the enemy with cold steel intended. When it was over, the remaining French, unbowed but beaten would surrender only if they could rescue the body (D’Anjhou’s wooden hand actually exists at FFL headquarters encased in glass) and were allowed to keep their firearms. Said the Mexican general: You are not soldiers, but demons! How could I refuse?” The Foreign Legion has a saying: You are Legionnaires in order to die, and the Legion will take you to where you may get your wish.

Such is the passion over which Mexico has been fought. America had its chance and refused the honor perhaps because its leaders felt Mexico was Too Brown and Too Catholic. And we and Mexicans all over still suffer that stupidity.)

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