“What Will PETA Do?)

(September 5, 2018)


pour me a nice cold big beer?*

‘Nuff brew – no hot dogs!


*(Recent revelations in the field of nutritional science as it relates to meat and meat substitutes suggest beer is the answer to hot dogs.  Drink enough beer and you will forget the ‘dogs. So, put the amino acids found in hot dogs into the carbohydrate polymers holding hands in a nice cold draught of liquid bread.  Everyone stays happy, except the now ignored vegetal condiments…though I did know one neighbor lady, Mrs. Gustafson, who eschewed meats and when all were cranking on the red hots would instead have a bun slathered with mustard, ketchup (ewww!), onions, pickles, and relish instead.  She did adopt, however my penchant for putting potato chips between bun and condiment at hot dog so as to free the “chips hand” for a nice cold drink instead.  Works even better when you add your chips right on the bottom of your burger, just before the pickles and ketchup, then the ground meat with its oh-so-fine topping of sauteed and raw sweet onion and mustard. Now, that took genius.  And works wonders still. Though I must admit the chips do get a tad soaky if the ground chuck not cooked enough to take the place of shoe leather. But we all do what we can to advance the cause, no? p.s.: I will admit to sliding in some nice crisp dill pickle opposite the sweet relish on my hot dog, a squiggle of mustard below and on both sides and a sprinkle of celery seeds both above and before – that learned via Chicago and Milwaukee trips.)



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