“If I Were A Plant, I’d Sue!”

Two try to make “Square*”

a Smokers’ Aquarium”

sans plexi-glass cube.


  • (Magnolia Square in downtown Sanford, Florida, a cloosed-off portion of Magnolia Avenue fronting First Street, turned into a brick-paved fountain-centered, planter-ringed gathering place for music, art, food and gatherings.  The two men from the upstairs near-constantly changing business doing something internettishly significant, this time with insurance hawking, crawl out the stairwell’s card-holder-only door and one lights up a cancer stick and the other produces an E-pipe and both pump poison into the air.  All that nicotine-laced water vapor and those carcinogens right under the hanging planters which decoratively dangle from the faux-antique lampposts: what’s a tree hugger and/or liberal to think or do.  Form a Shame Police?  Naw: get crackin’ on sentient decorative plants from your personal laboratory and then introduce them to a like-planted-mind lawyer and sue the feces out of them and the city to force them to build Smokers’ Aquariums – a notion first brought to me by Libertarian reformed lawyer-turned-radio-talker Neal Boortz as he described the glass-enclosed tower into which the so-called addicted may repair to puff away at Atlanta, Georgia’s sprawling jetport.  If these Sanford downtown toilers of internet wares must exit their offices to smoke why must we tolerate their doing so with impunity once unleashed to the outer-world?  Put them into cubes of plexiglass and make them pump quarters (or swipe cards or point phones) to pay to wash their befouled air elsewhere where it annoyeth not the people or plants who so choose to die differently. In the local library entrance alcove is a sign prominently displayed: No Smoking.  Yet there is a butt-can within the bounds and overhead.  And the smokers thereby gathered congregate on the sidewalk before the aforesaid entrance.  Makes sense, right?)