In commentary to Yasmin’s Haiku “Shadows Flirt”

I (*must) laugh so glad at this

you conjure each wordlet

into galaxies

and I just laugh

with the mind

who makes

joy!

 

  • (I originally did not include “must” in the first line: I was working a quick down-n-dirty reply to Yassy’s  “Shadows Flirt” Haiku that I miscounted the first line at seven – instead of six – syllables.  Shudda known: I am much better at After Math: at which time comes recess.!  Go find Shadows Flirt and see what wonders Yasmin hath wrought (writ?).
  • Like much of what I write that I like, this still needs some work.  Some have taken 10 or more years.  I shall chew these six lines at length – or at least leisure – and see what suggests. Go. Read “…Flirt” …and laugh!)

shadows flirt

I laugh* so glad at this
you conjure each wordlet
into galaxies
and I just laugh
with the mind
who makes
joy!

 

  • (Originally I meant for this line to have seven syllables  and now find myself inserting “(must)” or, equally questionable, “must” sans parens.  Needs work, but neither does it detract nor spoil Yassy’s spellbinding haiku “Shadows Flirt.”)

yaskhan



shadows flirt across
moonlit dreams......
I breathe together
a new poem...



#haiku

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I lose myself

I tried here in the library to look up “sternere” and merely moved close, mayhap. My OED (American) might offer insight. You? Best ask Yasmin. Yassy? Hey! You guys, just read and enjoy, the quibble can wait.

yaskhan

I lose myself ...among wildflowers..
I mind-cut through the rust of mundane thoughts...
resuscitating words and laying them out in the radiance
of the sun.

the sun seeps gold
through my hair....awakening
slumberous reflections..

words shape themselves...cutting through the miasma..
my gut goes candid..I retreat into where I bleed alone..
holding on tightly to the unwavering companionship of
my fervor..

an organic wind
carries syllables to me..
I play my pen

a quill haloed by mentors of destiny..destiny slams its 
door..like a zealot with the devil in his eyes.


words course through the 
virgin of my sternere..
I have come home...





#haibun






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