“The Substitute’s Up-commance”


New Teach: “Don’t act smart!”

Me: It’s not an act, ma’am!

Shall I play Stupid?*

 

*(That got me sent to the office in my fourth or fifth grade year at Pine Crest Elementary.  The legendary principal, Mrs. Margaret Reynolds, who would see me a few more times the next few years – leaned back in her wooden swivel chair and quirked: “what now, J?” So I told her.  Mrs. Reynolds then asked: “got a book?” I smirked…and then shrugged: “Me? how could you ask?” She returned serve: “Go sit outside my office 15 minutes, read your high school Latin textbook, and when you get back to class at least try to look contrite. Got it?” Mes’um.  How’d you know it was Latin? “Go,” she pointed! I go-ed!

I know Comeuppance is the correct word and thus Up-Commence would seem most appropriate – What? Me? Appropriate? WhyComeNow! Besides, Up-commance has a charm all its own, thinkethme.)

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