“The Jerk”*


Say my name real fast:

‘J Kirk’ three times in one breath/

Yep! That’s me!

 

*(Once enjoyed a cross-gardenia hedge verbal battle with a lad my age who hated my corruption of his Name, James Ellis – jane alice – and so when he tried mine so very fast three or four times, my then-nine-year-old self just laughed: “Yep! That’s me!”  Not much has changed – still a smartass.)

2 thoughts on ““The Jerk”*

    • Really am, Yassy. But they gotta earn it! Just like John Huston says in the old J.P. Morgan commercials. Once when asked why I never responded to her calling my name in class, a teacher found out this about “J Kirk” from my mom. “Oh,” mom laughed into the phone she later said. “You called him ‘J Kirk’. No wonder he wouldn’t respond – he wasn’t born in Texas (j now: where ever third boy and fifth girl is “Billy Bob).” And in high school as I was leaving a parent-assistant principal/counselor (never Knew I had One!) conference after debunking the reason for the confab: Mom, may I be excused? And she nodded assent as I strolled off to the Seniors’ parking lot by the office, “Has he always been that way?” the counselor asked. “Oh, my, yes! He will let you take his credits but if you try to gloss over or assume his blames that boy will fight you tooth and nail!” Good ol’e mom. She-wolf with her own each-an-individual pack! Yep. Jerk! Not the kind to kick sand, but nonetheless a Jerk.

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