“This Comes From Afar, Is Uncorroborated And Just Too True”

Found floating in the ether this bit of Thank Sanford from celebrity Morton Downey, Junior.

Seems the celeb was tooling North on US Highway(s) 17-92 just outside the skirts of Sanford, Florida, when his rental care puked.  He pulled over and was in the process of blessing out the rental company when a couple of more cars pulled over.  Hmmmm…

Turns out the people in both cars, Downey wrote, wanted to know how they could help.  The film and famous-for-being-famous star ‘splained the sitchyashun and one guy said screw that: my cousin’s got a tow-truck company and he will be right ‘chere and take that thar car where you want it.  Either he or the other guy chimed in “ya hongry?”

Soon Downey Jr., was sitting in downtown Sanford’s Christo’s restaurant – itself a longtimeago transplant from Long Island, his face trying to get outside of one of their burgers, which Downey called the best burger in the best restaurant ever!  He never heard, obviously, of Riverwalk Pizza nor of Hollerbach’s WillowTree Cafe or of  Smiling Bison which fled the comfortable confines of Winter Park to operate out of Snaffurd its veryownself!  But I digress.

Downey said his hosts had no idea of who he was, or what he did.

And why, pray, should that matter: a skinny-ish traveller en route through Southern Sanford falls prey to car trouble and you can do something about both the car and the skinny – so you stop and say: “hey brother, whatchewneed?”

Guess Morton don’t get very much of that where he’s from.  We have our buttwipes, too, though, not to get all braggy on ya!  We ran off Dan – Larry The Cable Guy – Whitney some few years back when he wanted to widen his own paved road to his own boughten house out in the backs of forever in Snaffurd and the stupid ass city said no, thank-you-so-very-little.  So Cable Guy backs up the trailer and takes hisself and his fambily back to realpace in Southern Nebraska.  But I digress.

Guess no one asked Morton Downey Junior how he liked the fact he was but a mile or three from where Trayvon Martin, another newcomer to Sanford, found instant worldwide fame and no fortune except for his grieving momma and poppa for their dope-smokin’ schoolgirl abusin’ son outta South Florida where he got suspened for a time so he came up to Sanford to See The Sights on a dark, cold, rainy night.

Sometimes Sanford Can Surprise.

“Last Night’s Butter”

last night’s butter

protects careful popcoard hoard:

some beer, tea, soda?*


*(Originally, the last line read “bear, tea or soda” and then I thought, “beer, tea AND soda?” so we bow to convention and present a choice…does anyone recall cold pizza getting a choice as to beer’s two best buds?  Wine?  OK, whine! There ain’t no stinkin’ Whine in Popcorn!”

“Multi-Dip For My (Tortilla) Strips” Tanka 520*

Pinto AND Black Beans,

onions, garlic,  lime and oil –

sour cream, forget not –

the small minced jalapenos

and dry diced chorizo, too!

*(Best if you make your own refried beans, but good quality canned are fine: include parsley AND cilantro mince, kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, toasted cumin, both whole and ground after, corriander treated the same way, and fresh diced, seeded but not skinned cherry or grape tomatoes for both color and flavor.  Extra Virgin Olive Oil mandatory.  Tortilla strips made from calciaum-treated (lime) corn masa, either bought commercially or made in-house, especially when some are going to become part of chiliquiles (sp?) as part of a border breakfast…some of the bean dip (either before or after the sour cream) can be used heated to go with the eggs and tortilla mashup.  Please ‘scuse me most sincerely: I have uncontrollable drools and must run home to desayuño dos! On second-day tasting I added my own dried chipotle powder, made from a mix of ripe, smoke-dried jalapenos, habanero, serrano, datil, scotch bonnet and whatever’s hot and ripe in the garden.

I broke down last eve’s late afternoon and made up a cup of brown rice which I did not fling gulletward as I almost had convinced myself so to do, but instead scooped out a two-cup hole in the bean dip – just the morning before bedecked with the now-pearlike and some bred-true grape tomatoes, sans seeds, and filled said crater with said brown rice, added the leftover to the reusable yogurt cup now holding two cups of bean dip – how serendipitous!  A moveable feast no longer necessitating the hauling of the whole kaboodle’s kit to where I would sup – or pre-sup actually – and folded both containers well and truly and did not warn the tortilla strips soon comes their doom!)